Perpetual Middle-Man?

Ok, this is just another of my random observations derived from an overly-analytical mind and a boring day at work. I have realized that whatever the deal is; I'm usually the middle man. Growing up I bridged two generations of my family with about 3 years on either side. Most of my cousins were older than me, and most of my family friends were about 3-4 years younger than me. Interesting. . . but, it gets better. I bear significant responsibility for at least two successful relationships involving what used to be completely isolated good friends. Not no more (thanks to me :-) Finally, at work, I'm usually the middle man there too. The people who were once my equals usually end up getting promoted, and I get to train those who fill their void. I think for the latter part of my analysis there is a common cause; reliability. I can usually be counted on to get things done when it is important. So, I seem to become entrenched in one spot while being important and ambiguous at the same time. I'm not yet 100% sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. It is what it is - ok, sorry to put you through that. My next post will be funny. . . promise :-)

Relief

The most interesting thing happened about three weeks ago, and while I thought I should keep it to myself, I'm having a change of mind. While the back-story is way-longer than I can write here, it's kind of important. So, here is the condensed version:

I have never been a successful dater. In the seldom occurrence that I meet a woman and things appear to be working out, things have always ended up with her having a change of heart/mind and then neglecting to tell me. Usually another member of the male species is the motivating factor. Now, whether or not these few women can do better is not the debate here; I'm just setting the stage. So, after loving a woman who hated me, being replace and not informed multiple times, and strung along for months with no end in sight until I finally had to give up, I realized that this is one game I'm never going to win. It was the final experience that brought me to this realization. I didn't just give up on her and the relationship. I gave up on the whole notion that 'love' is something I am ever going to attain or experience.

Now, I'm not looking for a digital pity party here. There is a point to this ramble. The experience of giving up on the notion of ever finding romantic 'love', you know, that thing everybody in music, television, print, church, family, and your own subconscious says you'll never be happy without, has been incredibly freeing. It's like my mind is more clear, focused, and content than it has ever been. I can focus on the things that I have or like to do more intently and enjoy them more now that I'm not dwelling on being 'alone'. Now, don't get me wrong; I still have lonely nights. And, the desire to have somebody to hold can still be pretty intense. I believe that's natural. But, I feel better now that I'm comfortable with the probability that it won't happen for me. I guess I have learned to live with a situation that I cannot change. Also, I have many great things in my life to be appreciative of:

A strong Christian faith that gives me hope for the perpetual future
My very supportive and loving family
A growing circle of friends that I enjoy and CAN RELY ON
A great job with a stable company
An appreciation and sense of accomplishment that comes with pursuing my hobbies (tennis and music)
My personal health

Now, there are those people who are going to say things like "Well, your job, health and hobbies won't keep you warm at night" OR "No woman, you're still a loser". My answers respectively "I have a blanket for that, and it's worked in many forms for 26+ years" AND "You, sir, can kiss my ass." I feel better than I have in a long time; things are good.

Be Well,

Dave

9 WORDS WOMEN USE*

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

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(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

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(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

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(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

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(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

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(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

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(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... That will bring on a 'whatever').

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(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying $#@% YOU!

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(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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* This is not an original; I stole it from a female friend. Men, read and be well advised.